TEARS OF ADDICTION

Doreen Williams

Greeting, my name is Doreen Williams and this story is called “The Tears of Addiction”. It begins in 1980 about a young man named Larry who was 16 when his family moved to Fort Green Projects. He was the last of eleven children. three lived at home at the time. Everyone thought Larry would become a veterinarian because of his love for animals. He had a dog, fish, hamsters and a snake, which went next door and the neighbors killed it. He befriended Jay, a young man who lived upstairs in the same building. Some years later, he and Jay were persuaded to sell drugs. As time went on, they both began getting high off their own supply. At age 24, Larry became a father. His mother had to take custody of his son due to the mother's addiction as well. Soon after, Larry began stealing from his family to get high. One day he was talking to his mother and two guys knocked on the door looking for him, his mother said, "hold on" and closed the door. When she looked out of the window, Larry was running through the projects. Apparently, he jumped out of the window from the third floor.

He went to his sister's apartment and left with all her favorite sweaters in his book bag without her even realizing it. He stole so much money from his mother that she slept with her money in her panties. She did everything she could to help her son get his life together, while raising his son, including enrolling him in several detox facilities. Larry would stay clean for a short while but soon relapse. This time after six weeks in detox, he came home and robbed Jay. He heard about the head drug dealer telling Jay “KILL LARRY OR YOU DIE!

Larry began sleeping in the subway to hide. He cleaned up once again and decided it was time to go visit his son. While walking up the staircase in Fort Green, unbeknownst to him, Jay was coming down the same staircase. They were face to face like a western standoff. Larry tried to apologize and went into his pocket to give Jay money, Jay went into his pocket and POW, POW, POW.

At that moment, Larry's mother was in the living room watching tv and playing with the baby in the walker. She heard the shots. His brother, Darrel and his friend ran into the living room "Mom, did you hear that?" as she stood there holding her heart in shock. Suddenly, two loud bangs were heard at the front door. Everyone was frozen in fear. Darrel moved his mother back and opened the door. Larry fell in onto the floor. Darrel bent down in horror "Are you alright?" The mother screamed "OH GOD NO! ". Larry said "Jay shot me, he's in the hallway." Darrel ran into the hallway as his friend continuously screamed at Larry" BREATHE, STAY WITH ME" while calling 911. Darrel was now face to face with Jay; he could smell the smoke in the air and see the gun pointed at him. Jay said, "DO YOU WANT TO GO WHERE HE'S GOING?" Jay realized what he had done and disappeared down the staircase. Darrel in shock opens the door to pandemonium.

The blood could not be seen because of the jacket Larry was wearing. The baby began walking towards his father saying “Da Da”. Larry reached out to his son, when blood gushed from his mouth onto the floor, as he took his last breath reaching for his son. The paramedics arrived and began working on him, his mother said with everlasting sorrow, he's dead. Two days later Jay walked into the precinct and turned himself in. He was tried, convicted and sentenced to 15 years in prison. Darrel always blamed himself for not protecting his little brother and died two years later from HIV. These two men were my brothers; I moved out before all of this happened.

About fifteen years later, I was coming home from work and decided to stop at a store that I do not usually frequent. I collected my items and stood on the line. A man walked up to me and asked "Doreen?" The person that I am, I looked him from his shoes up to his head, but I did not recognize him. I said, "Who are you?" and he replied "Jay". I was frozen in time. I did not know whether to cuss him out or throw my items at him. Of course, he looked older and he was bald. When I looked into his eyes, I then recognized him. I noticed that he had a tear drop under his eye, which meant death or remorse. He said "I will wait for you outside" I said What! I looked around to see if there was anybody that I knew around in case I lost control or got into something. When I stepped outside, he burst into tears and said, "I am so sorry for killing Larry". I asked "WHY?" as he continued to sob, he replied "I had no choice. They said that they were going to kill me, if I did not kill him". He continued "Your mother is a saint, she sent me money in jail". I refused to let him see me cry. I walked away from him and cried all the way home.

Thank you for listening to this story.

Oh! By the way, I brought my brothers with me today.