I was raised to be an angel
The eye of God always upon me
Molded into the perfect obedient servant
In my baptism as a babe
You laid claim to what was your own
The puppet masters who felt called by you
holding the strings of my life in their hands.
Mandated me to live a life of purity
for the sake of eternal salvation
It was so easy
to be picture perfect
the girl they needed me to be.
No questions fell from my lips.
Keep sweet.
Pray and Obey.
The moment I was a woman I became less
A temptress if I wasn't a godly woman.
Silence my mouth with questions.
Sew my mouth shut with the holy thread.
You weren't made to be heard.
Crimson lies can't fall from my lips.
Just have faith in God.
If my faith was strong enough.
I wouldn't be crumbling now.
I was prepared to be the unattainable perfection.
Mother and Wife.
The more I asked
The more cornered I was into Satan's embrace.
I was too dirty.
Too impure.
Infected with the serpent of sin
I refused to say I needed saving
I ripped the stitches from my face.
They have been numb from pain for so long.
I could finally say what I never could
Blood Gushes from the wound
Despite.
I begged for love and the mercy I was promised
I was too tainted.
Surrounded by hypocrites.
They call themselves Christians
Resisting everything they cultivated me to be.
Submission was never a good color on me
Too ugly because I rejected obedience
The heretic outcast for speaking against the beliefs
When I pointed to the paradox in the book that was praised
It wasn't that I didn't believe
It was that I disagreed
It was that my love itself was a sin that I refused
to acknowledge. Scorn fell upon me
I could only have a husband, never a wife
Deemed irredeemable in the eyes of the redeemer
The devil welcomed me with open arms
Breaking every reality forced upon me
I became the devil's daughter
There was no pain for speaking
No scars from ridicule
Where I was supposed to be welcome
I was rejected and turned into a spectacle.
The whispers follow my dreams, as if I chose to walk away
I was forced into a darkness I tried to escape.
Drowning in my own shame because I failed the one job I had
Mother.
Wife.
Irredemable.
Molded into my own demon I now embrace
The halo of the angel broke into the horns of the devil.
